The empties are all around us
They walk and talk like confidence
But that is simply to fool us
People consumed by pettiness
They care more for appearance
The newest style,
The coolest friends,
Love to them is not happiness
When the mask falls down
She is shrunken, unhappy
Her life wasted tricking the world;
But that was the mask
She did nothing for herself,
Only the mask
And the master of the mask is really the slave
And the mask has friends
And the mask has faith
And the mask has joy
And she has none
And the mask is pretty
And the mask is tough
And the mask is perfect
And she is not
She cloaks herself in happiness;
Takes pride in prettiness
But the boys care not for her soul
Just the package in which she comes
And her friends care not for her
Just the weight of her name
And beneath the beauty
Beneath the joy
Beneath the name
Beneath the confidence
It is not the same.
There is just a girl.
Just a girl strangled by
Her cloak and mask
Scared of life
Worried about college,
And boys,
And friends.
She is just a girl,
With the same worries
As all the rest.
But the cloak drags her down;
She struggles to swim,
To keep her head above water;
Above her own reputation
And life is hard
And life is tough
And nobody wants her
To be strong enough
To cast off her costume
Of glamour and lust
And be what she is:
A girl with a dream.
A dream full of love,
Full of trust and the truth
Where her life is of value
Of more than her looks,
More than her name
And she can be who she is:
A girl who cares.
She cares more for life,
Than for the newest faux fashion
She wants to be known for
Following her passions
August 6, 2018 at 7:18 pm
Wow. Just wow. That is an amazing poem. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 2 people
August 6, 2018 at 7:18 pm
I’m glad you liked it! Thank you for reading 🙂
LikeLike
August 6, 2018 at 8:08 pm
Bravo👏👏
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 6, 2018 at 8:14 pm
I like it, but what’s underneath her cloak, what is inside her body? What’s she think with? Soul and brain–give her some credibility.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 6, 2018 at 8:30 pm
I always like to play with omission – in this case the omission of her actual characterization – because I think it lends something to the writing when the reader has to fill in who *they* think she is. The point in this one is that she could be anyone, I’m just letting the reader decide who that anyone is for themselves. I appreciate your critique though! If she were a character in a longer work I would certainly spend more time giving her a personality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 6, 2018 at 9:39 pm
gosh I love this
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 7, 2018 at 9:53 am
Some of the rhythm really gets me
The first two lines
I preference to read about a quarter of the words.
For the effect
And get why or why not she has a chance
A unique detail please
Cut the cliche out so she can be free and real even as a masked slave
I really want to meet her
Let me know if she appears
Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 7, 2018 at 10:42 pm
Beautiful!! I was that girl in my youth and it has taken years to learn how to be comfortable without a mask. I could really relate to this from the perspective of my younger self. ~Shell
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 7, 2018 at 10:45 pm
I’m happy you were able to relate! Thanks for stopping by my blog
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 8, 2018 at 2:45 pm
Great one. Captures the truth beautifully.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 10, 2018 at 7:12 am
Wow. Just, wow
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 10, 2018 at 8:18 am
Damn 🌸❤️beautiful is the word
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 10, 2018 at 8:34 am
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 10, 2018 at 8:41 am
My pleasure
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 13, 2018 at 1:34 am
I really liked this one as well, so truthful. Especially with the world today ..
… beautiful ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 13, 2018 at 10:49 am
Superb writing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 13, 2018 at 1:47 pm
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 14, 2018 at 9:26 am
The most expensive thing you can do is try to keep up appearances. Well written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 18, 2018 at 10:47 am
Reblogged this on davidbruceblog #2.
LikeLike
August 18, 2018 at 11:34 am
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 18, 2018 at 10:28 pm
I really like this. It’s sad that so many people are like this, probably more than we could ever imagine. I can relate to the mask, though expensive clothes have never been my thing. Anybody can act like they have their act together while crumbling and broken inside. It’s such a gift when we can find friends who will accept us for who we really are. I have found this gift most of all in my relationship with God, for He knows me best and loves me in spite of my faults. He values me and gives me all the attention I need. I’ve found that even the best of human friends will fail to be there for us when we need them the most, but not God.
Great poem!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 18, 2018 at 11:16 pm
I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 22, 2018 at 7:48 am
Well written, you paint a poignant picture about the travails of modern society. Anand Bose from Kerala
LikeLiked by 2 people
August 23, 2018 at 11:33 am
I loved this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 23, 2018 at 11:33 am
The girl who dreamed
Of throwing of the mask
Who dreamed
Of being not who was asked
Who wanted
To be who she was
Who was scared of it
Coz coz coz
The girl with a dream
Who lived behind a mask
The girl who knew she’d
Throw it off at last.
The girl with a dream.
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 23, 2018 at 11:42 am
I like this!
LikeLike
August 23, 2018 at 11:46 am
I was trying to reply to what you said. For we all live behind the mask. I definitely do. There’s still a way to go past the mask. To let others see who we really are. We’ll lose people along the way. And pick up others (hopefully).
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 23, 2018 at 3:57 pm
Elegant. So glad you shared
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 23, 2018 at 4:11 pm
I’m glad you liked it!
LikeLike
August 27, 2018 at 11:19 am
Excellent! Really liked “And nobody wants her
To be strong enough
To cast off her costume” sooo sadly true
LikeLiked by 1 person
September 4, 2018 at 11:44 pm
I love this poem, especially since my own dear sister killed herself due to too many plastic surgeries. No matter how beautiful she was, it was never enough when she looked in the mirror. Thank you for writing about the mask.
LikeLiked by 1 person
September 4, 2018 at 11:48 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about your sister! Too many girls and women base their worth on the mask, and I wanted to write about that to hopefully make someone that needs it aware that they’re worth more than that.
LikeLike
September 5, 2018 at 12:49 am
Thank you for your reply. In fact, reading your poem and your comment has reminded me that I wrote a poem about her when she died, about how she was teased for being “fat” when she was a kid. Maybe I will post it on my site soon. This is a serious subject and getting worse, as plastic surgery is sought after at younger and younger ages. She started when she was in her 20s and continued her entire life. And the doctors are irresponsible in this area. Sadly, she never believed it when we told her she was already beautiful. Your writing of the mask versus the real person inside is so painfully true. Thank you again for bringing attention to this important subject.
LikeLiked by 1 person
September 5, 2018 at 1:20 am
I’d love to see that poem you wrote! I’m sure it’s wonderful, and look forward to reading it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
September 5, 2018 at 2:35 am
Thank you. I’ll let you know when I post it or you can follow my site LetsWrite.com. I’m going to follow yours.
LikeLiked by 1 person
September 5, 2018 at 7:38 am
I quite like this. ( :
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 23, 2019 at 12:13 am
But what if the mask lives forever?
LikeLiked by 1 person
August 19, 2021 at 6:05 pm
Beautiful truth. Indeed, you are His treasure.
Psalms 45:13
“The king’s daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold.”
You are God’s precious daughter!
Blessings,
Ron
LikeLike
October 10, 2021 at 6:35 pm
Reblogged this on johncoyote and commented:
Amazing poetry. I liked the energy and the drive in the words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 10, 2021 at 6:36 pm
I loved the complete poem. A outstanding poem dear poet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 11, 2021 at 10:58 am
Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
LikeLike