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Shiny Objects

Rambling ruminations from an addled mind.

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Depression

Tragic Desire

One of life's greatest tragedies Is that you can't choose Your desires. You can be what you want But not want what you are. Work your whole life to get there Only to find you now want here not there.... Continue Reading →

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Reservoir

Let's find out if I can write a third poem in under an hour to make up for not writing any over the weekend!   I came to the conclusion the other day (with some help) That I'm open about... Continue Reading →

Dark Repose

He looks tranquil in his dark repose, Thoughtful maybe, peering into space. But do you suppose Again he'll turn, the world to face?   It's behind the mask, Where he lets nobody see That you can finally ask Do you... Continue Reading →

Chronic Recovery

After I first "beat" depression, I liked to tell people that no matter how bad things seem, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I had survived the suicide attempts, I had stopped hurting myself, I had... Continue Reading →

Stagnation

Flat on my back, Sweating but swaddled Thirsty but drinkless Hungry but foodless Fidgety but motionless,   So many problems with so many simple solutions Alarm clock screaming from miles away Who knew it took this much effort to exist?... Continue Reading →

Pursuit

They're relentless really, This wolf pack in my mind. They've got the scent, And I must reek of it.   I escaped once, Two years of looking over my shoulder, Memories of dark dread Clouding clear summer days.   But... Continue Reading →

When Good Enough isn’t Good Enough

After spending so much time and money Fixing the drive-train, the brakes, When is it worth it to fix the stereo? I've caged my demons, Though still they shriek, I've conquered my mountain; Precarious precipice holds for now. Yes, temporary... Continue Reading →

Sometimes I Feel

Sometimes I feel like Recovery is just Forgetting the profundity of understanding my own smallness   Sometimes I feel like My medication is just A smokescreen blinding my mind from seeing the truth of my own futility   Sometimes I... Continue Reading →

Somnambulant Sycophant

When I turn from the ambivalent night I know that my sycophant might Send apoplectic demons to fight My narcoleptic courage, Their hectic action, My mind's septic putrefaction. Would this mess end If my rigorous discipline lessened? Like Ouroboros's absolution... Continue Reading →

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