Stand.
Stand in the pouring rain,
Arms outstretched,
Face to sky,
Reveling in the sensation of it.
Walk.
Walk in the scorching heat,
Hand in slimy hand,
Brows channeling rivulets around eyes,
Experiencing the hardship of it.
Sit.
Sit on the coarse lawn,
Arms bit by bugs,
Legs scraped by plants,
Feeling the life around you.
Run.
Run after that bus,
Lungs creaking,
Knees popping,
Maintaining the proximity of your heart to her’s as long as you can.
Breathe.
Breathe in through your nose,
Eyes closed,
Legs crossed,
Concentrating on the within for once.
Scream.
Scream what you want to scream,
Words tearing at your throat,
Tears clawing at your eyes,
Fighting for a love you don’t believe in.
Lay.
Lay on the frozen ground,
Ice in your lashes,
Wind biting at your face,
Harmonizing your heart with the weather.
Live.
Live every day,
Experiencing all of life,
Even the parts you don’t want to,
Learning what it is to be human.
August 20, 2018 at 10:40 pm
I didn’t want to post this because it feels incomplete, (especially the fourth stanza), but I figured I may as well go ahead and see if any of my readers had any suggestions for how to edit it!
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August 20, 2018 at 11:11 pm
I don’t know about the slimy hand part, but the rest was just fine…
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August 21, 2018 at 3:26 am
Thanks for the feedback, maybe it was more complete than I thought..
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August 21, 2018 at 1:49 am
Wow. I don’t even… god. This is wonderful and perfect and it felt complete to me. It’s gorgeous. Of course, you had me at the first bit. Standing in the rain is one of my favorite things ever.
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August 21, 2018 at 3:26 am
Thank you! Maybe I was overthinking it and it is fine. I’m glad you liked it!
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August 21, 2018 at 9:46 am
I really enjoyed this poem. My only comment might be:
“Run after that bus,
Lungs creaking,
Knees popping,”
The speaker sounded really really old and slow-moving… not sure if that was your intent or not.
I actually liked the slimy hands part; it’s an unpleasant image, but a good one that gets a gut reaction.
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August 21, 2018 at 10:19 am
That’s a good point; my intent was to show that the speaker doesn’t normally do things like run after buses, but they do sound old here. Thanks for the feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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August 21, 2018 at 12:37 pm
I agree that the lungs creaking and knees popping does make the speaker feel really old and quite different from the rest of the poem. Otherwise, I love it. It’s terrific. Thanks.
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August 22, 2018 at 12:47 pm
Great poem but the slimy hands made me uncomfortable 😖
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August 23, 2018 at 10:19 am
I loved it all including the fourth stanza. Except for the hand part, but you’ve heard that enough 🙂 Keep writing and blogging….
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August 24, 2018 at 4:41 pm
Absolutely! Maybe life is more like childbirth, but we work really hard to avoid the pain, which ultimately leads to ecstasy and life.
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August 24, 2018 at 4:47 pm
More like the beauty after a thunderstorm
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August 25, 2018 at 9:25 pm
I relate to almost each segment. It is real and raw and exactly summarized how those situations are. Enjoyed it thoroughly and my life flashed before my eyes…every time I sat on the grass, bugs biting, and I love the rain too!
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August 25, 2018 at 10:27 pm
I’m so glad it was relateable!
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August 27, 2018 at 3:17 pm
Hey
Thank you for liking my post 😊
I appreciate your support. Please do check my other posts and if you like my work follow me. I’d really be glad 😊
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August 29, 2018 at 9:32 pm
I liked the style you put in your poem (Verb – Imagery – Emotion) and how these three elements filled up the stanzas. Fantastic write!
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September 1, 2018 at 2:17 pm
An awesome look at some very human experiences. There is an unpleasantness to it sometimes but there’s also the amazingness of being alive.
“Hand in slimy hand,” — I’ve seen others point this line out too. I think you’re trying to write about sweat slick palms? Maybe? Worse case scenario you can talk about sunburn which is plausible under a scorching sun/heat. 🙂
Regardless, every stanza is relatable.
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October 2, 2018 at 8:41 am
Beautiful post!
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October 4, 2018 at 12:05 am
Thank you!
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