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Shiny Objects

Rambling ruminations

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Mental Health

Chronic Recovery

After I first "beat" depression, I liked to tell people that no matter how bad things seem, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I had survived the suicide attempts, I had stopped hurting myself, I had... Continue Reading →

Stagnation

Flat on my back, Sweating but swaddled Thirsty but drinkless Hungry but foodless Fidgety but motionless,   So many problems with so many simple solutions Alarm clock screaming from miles away Who knew it took this much effort to exist?... Continue Reading →

Pursuit

They're relentless really, This wolf pack in my mind. They've got the scent, And I must reek of it.   I escaped once, Two years of looking over my shoulder, Memories of dark dread Clouding clear summer days.   But... Continue Reading →

When Good Enough isn’t Good Enough

After spending so much time and money Fixing the drive-train, the brakes, When is it worth it to fix the stereo? I've caged my demons, Though still they shriek, I've conquered my mountain; Precarious precipice holds for now. Yes, temporary... Continue Reading →

Sometimes I Feel

Sometimes I feel like Recovery is just Forgetting the profundity of understanding my own smallness   Sometimes I feel like My medication is just A smokescreen blinding my mind from seeing the truth of my own futility   Sometimes I... Continue Reading →

Somnambulant Sycophant

When I turn from the ambivalent night I know that my sycophant might Send apoplectic demons to fight My narcoleptic courage, Their hectic action, My mind's septic putrefaction. Would this mess end If my rigorous discipline lessened? Like Ouroboros's absolution... Continue Reading →

The Phantom of the Mind

They're with me always, Scuttling around in the mezzanine of my mind. I know where they've been, But not where they are; Footprints in the patina, Puffs of dust in the rust, Denting, dimpling the ducts. Sometimes I hear them,... Continue Reading →

Fast Lane

He left the room. He left it too soon, And with tension yet unrelieved, Taut as a steel cable Attaching him To her.   He got in the car. Slamming the door, Stomping the clutch, And throwing the lever to... Continue Reading →

Featured post

On Social Anxiety

I'd say it was gut-wrenching, but that's not quite right. Gut-wrenching is too cliché, doesn't encompass nearly enough. Your guts aren't just being twisted around, but twisted by a wrench of ice, while a thousand icy needles prick your skin,... Continue Reading →

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