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Shiny Objects

Rambling ruminations

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Depression

Stagnation

Flat on my back, Sweating but swaddled Thirsty but drinkless Hungry but foodless Fidgety but motionless,   So many problems with so many simple solutions Alarm clock screaming from miles away Who knew it took this much effort to exist?... Continue Reading →

Pursuit

They're relentless really, This wolf pack in my mind. They've got the scent, And I must reek of it.   I escaped once, Two years of looking over my shoulder, Memories of dark dread Clouding clear summer days.   But... Continue Reading →

When Good Enough isn’t Good Enough

After spending so much time and money Fixing the drive-train, the brakes, When is it worth it to fix the stereo? I've caged my demons, Though still they shriek, I've conquered my mountain; Precarious precipice holds for now. Yes, temporary... Continue Reading →

Sometimes I Feel

Sometimes I feel like Recovery is just Forgetting the profundity of understanding my own smallness   Sometimes I feel like My medication is just A smokescreen blinding my mind from seeing the truth of my own futility   Sometimes I... Continue Reading →

Somnambulant Sycophant

When I turn from the ambivalent night I know that my sycophant might Send apoplectic demons to fight My narcoleptic courage, Their hectic action, My mind's septic putrefaction. Would this mess end If my rigorous discipline lessened? Like Ouroboros's absolution... Continue Reading →

Sweet Nothing

He lays on the table, unable to move. Awake and aware and scared, eyes rove around the room frantically looking for something to find but there’s nothing. They open him, painlessly and wordlessly extricating, cataloging the contents of his soul.... Continue Reading →

What is Life Worth?

*Trigger Warning* Self-harm and suicidal ideas depiction   This is from the darkest part of my life, I feel so lucky to have made the progress that I did since then. I wish none of you could relate, but I'm... Continue Reading →

One Missed Dose

Crying out for help But it comes out garbled Like I'm underwater And I can't hear if there's a reply Because all the voices are muted, Watercolor smears of sound.   Withdrawal is a thick pane of glass Between the... Continue Reading →

Dear Dad (Diamond in the Rough)

It must have been hard for you, To watch me grow up soft. Oversensitive child, crying too oft, Never as tough as what you would choose. To you, to be a man is to be hard; It's what you were... Continue Reading →

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