After spending so much time and money
Fixing the drive-train, the brakes,
When is it worth it to fix the stereo?
I’ve caged my demons,
Though still they shriek,
I’ve conquered my mountain;
Precarious precipice holds for now.
Yes, temporary sanity is mine,
But I can’t reach anyone;
Alone I stand on this peak,
Trapped within myself.
I see the way off,
But these ropes are a tangled mess
And I lack the energy to fix this, too,
After clawing my way up by tooth and nail.
The difficult is done,
But this is different;
Can’t learn my way out,
Can’t cope my way off.
No, this time I must fight,
Fight a monster within me
And for what?
Only the last shred of my own humanity.
She was right that I’m afraid.
She was right that I’m not whole.
She brought a battering ram to my walls
And bounced right back just as I told her she would.
Safer not to try.
Because these walls come from the deep
Unexplored parts of me,
And I don’t want to know what I’ll find there.
December 9, 2018 at 11:34 pm
Nice. The last stanza is very powerful. Thanks.
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December 9, 2018 at 11:50 pm
How have you been doing? You’ve been quiet…
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December 9, 2018 at 11:59 pm
I’ve been good! Just pretty busy with life and work and haven’t had as much time to write.
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December 10, 2018 at 12:10 am
Good! I’m glad to hear that.
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December 10, 2018 at 1:21 am
“And I don’t want to know what I’ll find there.” wow, beautiful writing!
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December 10, 2018 at 2:18 am
Thank you, I’m glad you like it!
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December 11, 2018 at 8:32 am
Nice Piece! Keep Writing!
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