Crying out for help
But it comes out garbled
Like I’m underwater
And I can’t hear if there’s a reply
Because all the voices are muted,
Watercolor smears of sound.
Withdrawal is a thick pane of glass
Between the world and my mind,
My thoughts kicking my conscious
To the passenger seat,
An unwilling spectator to my own world,
Unable to participate.
One missed dose
And the world is in slow motion,
But lagging like YouTube on dial-up nonetheless.
Frame rate, clarity drop
I’m vaguely aware of the world happening,
But it’s not happening to me.
Reach my hand out to feel the stream of time
But I feel nothing.
Ears ringing, eyes struggling to focus,
I ask a question,
Comes out twisty and circular,
Forgetful of the beginning of the sentence,
And then can’t listen to the answer.
Repeats.
Six times and a nervous laugh later,
End of conversation.
Take me home. Anyone.
July 13, 2018 at 10:28 pm
Very nice, I can actually picture the image in my head as I read this!
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July 13, 2018 at 10:47 pm
I’m glad! This is a tough feeling to describe, so I was hoping imagery might help people understand it
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July 14, 2018 at 8:06 am
Yes, it absolutely appealed to me! It was perfect 🙂
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July 14, 2018 at 7:10 am
Great use of unique imagery to describe complex feelings. There’s a sense of self awareness but also feeling trapped and isolated. I identify.
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July 14, 2018 at 9:10 am
Thanks so much!
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July 14, 2018 at 10:52 am
“Reach my hand out to feel the stream of time” so evocative of such a difficult feeling to describe. This is beautifully written and something I need to share with others who have tried to describe this feeling, and failing, have felt as if there was no compassionate space for their experience. (Another way to say this: your poem rocks!)
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July 14, 2018 at 11:01 am
Thanks so much Victoria! I’ve tried explaining the feeling to others who have gone through the same thing, and invariably we both end up excited that someone else can relate! This poem was actually inspired by a conversation I had the other night with a friend who particularly loved the underwater metaphor.
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July 18, 2018 at 2:22 pm
The imagery helped me understand it so well 💘 loved it
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July 18, 2018 at 3:11 pm
Thank you Hafsa!
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